Finals Week(s) or My Personal Hell

I had my last day of school yesterday. It was deeply meaningful. Actually, it wasn't--but I did get to run around like a chicken with its head cut off, so that was something to do. I have my first final on Friday. It's on Regulation of Securities Distribution. I am nervous becasue I don't know the subject as well as I would like. Then I don't have another final for a week--next Friday I have Sales--an easier topic for me, but the professor has a rep for giving awful finals. Finally, commercial paper on Monday, December 21st. Give me strength...

I'm having a bit of a rough time, to be honest. I recently learned that I have a depth perception issue that surfaces both long distance and close up. I'm getting new glasses to help me deal with it, but in the mean time, I'm facing some unfortunate issues--like...when I read for any length of time, I get incredibly tired. I had been thinking it was because I was lazy--but it's actually a symptom of my eye problem. My eyes get super tired because they have to strain to make me not see double. The eye doc told me to look out the window for a while after each 20 minutes of reading. Unfortunately, since I have a perception issue there, it doesn't seem to be helping me much, either. But this new diagnosis is changing a lot. It helps explain why my eyes make me feel like I need a nap a lot, even when my body isn't really that tired. Right now, my eyes feel so tired, even though I had a really long night's sleep.

I read an article about my problem--it made me a little sleepy, too, as a matter of fact :). It was about a girl who, though she had always been bright, tested at a 1st grade reading level in 5th grade. Her teachers' perception of her as "slow," marred her self-esteem and academic progress until she was finally diagnosed with the problem. Now I'm wondering if the fact that it is so much harder for me to read has hampered me academically, too. Certainly, I've found that I can't read for very long periods of time without really really needing to go take a nap. When I drive and stare out at nothing for a long time, I find myself getting horribly sleepy. Now I wonder if that's why I like to take a book to bed--it helps me fall asleep.

Anyway, help is hopefully on the way in the form of prism lenses in my new glasses. they refract the light in a way that counteracts my eyes' discrepancy so my muscles don't have to strain to read things clearly. My eye doctor gave me a demonstration during my visit, forming a prism out of two lenses and placing them in front of my eye. It made seeing so much easier! It made both long distance and up close images appear much sharper, but I didn't have to squint to achieve that effect. This sounds stupid to say, but it was really a life changing moment, when I realized how much strain my eye muscles felt when they had to go back to fending for themselves. No wonder I nap so much!

Anyway, I feel frustrated that I have to keep studying without my prism lenses for a while. They're due in just in time for my final final exam. We'll see if they have the impact I hope they will. I feel so cranky that I feel so tired--again, just in my eyes. My husband often gets after me for taking naps so much, but I wish he knew what it felt like so he could understand why I do do it so much.

There are a limited number of things you can do without seeing. Studying for an exam by reviewing all of the slides shown in your class is not one of them.
Dang.

Baby's First Arson Attempt

so proud...our house didn't burn down. It's an envelope with some little kid drawings on them. I think they "mailed" it down the heat register. There was nothing inside the envelope. I had high hopes of state secrets or at least a long-lost confession to a murder, but, alas...

I'm feeling a bit melodramatic today. At first, I was going to entitle this entry "My Hit List" but I didn't want to end up on "My Nation's Watch List." Besides, everything on my hit list was an inanimate object. They were all things that I needed with varying degrees of desperation today, but that I couldn't find.
First was my nasal saline spray. I couldn't make any facial expressions that involved the use of my nose without serious injury because my nasal membranes were so dry. Only in my left nostril though. I think that's the bad one.

my nose may look normal on the outside, but it is a crotchety old lady with dry, withered skin inside. this picture was taken in the Mansfield Reformatory before weight-loss began. please notice that the grim reaper appears to be making an appearance in profile over to the top left of the frame. I can't believe I didn't notice this at the time!

Then it was the wrapping paper--We bought a huge roll, big enough to cover our entire house--and it was suddenly gone. So I made a "hit list" of the things I was missing and basically played "Where's Waldo?" in my house until I found them.

My nose feels soo much better. I wrapped some presents, too!

Now if only I could find my acrylic paint set.....

Wombats are the Cutest Things Ever and Mortality

admit it: you want to cuddle one (photo by Noodle Snacks)

two fun facts about wombats:
1. as members of the marsupial family, they have a pouch, but unlike kangaroos, they carry their pouch on back so they don't cover their babies in dirt when they dig, which they apparently do a lot.
2. they. have. square. poop.


I heard my roommate talking the other day about making a will. She was like, "I could get killed in a car accident tomorrow." That thought stunned me. I am not insane. I realize that we can and will all die at some point. I just can't talk about it in an objective way. I feel like Gob (from Arrested Development, not from the bible, even though it's pronounced the same as Job) when he says, "I was thinking, if anything ever happened to me...just...how sad I'd be." Fortunately, I found a way to think about how I could get killed by a crazed lunatic last night. I came home at like 5pm and hung out for a really long time, took a shower, exercised (yes, in that order. no, I don't know why) and so on. Then my roommate came home and asked why the back door was wide open. Presumably it had been wide open all day. I couldn't stop the shower scene from 'Psycho' playing in my head. With me in the starring role. (as the victim, not as Norman Bates).

And let's be honest, part of losing weight is being healthy. I want to be healthy because the alternative is not healthy. Sometimes not healthy can get pretty serious. Like death. That's as directly as I can talk about my mortality right now, but if it's spurring me on to lose weight, that's good enough for me. I feel depressed now. I need to hug a wombat.

Also, I was exonerated on Biggest Loser. I was added back into the results and was not eliminated this week. That doesn't change the fact that I'm still not going to win next week, BUT, it is good to stay alive, even if it's just virtually.