today I learned what it was like to be my husband for 2 years. those are actually my shoes in the picture. it looks like there's something VERY wrong with my feet, but maybe you should try taking a picture of your own feet by holding your big laptop like a camera whose lens you can't see through and your feet will look weird too!!
I walked a mile in my husband's shoes today. For the past two years, he's been living at the home of friends from church while I've been in Columbus in our "family home" studying law. Now he's in our family home--a real, beautiful, happy, place, in Cleveland and I am living with the friends. (not the same friends--but wouldn't that be weird? we'd be like their kids!)
Frankly, today was exhausting. I feel like I've been beaten.
I woke up at 6:50am while my husband slept in (another role reversal!) and got dressed, took the dog out, ate breakfast alone. Said goodbye to my husband--he huddled inside the house in his underwear so the neighbors couldn't see him. He clutched Greta to his chest to keep her from escaping. In the bluish light of early morning, he looked like a super politically incorrect parody of a refugee protectively snuggling a child to their bosom. Then I was off. I was so sad, lonely and apprehensive--worried about the tasks that lay ahead. The drive seemed to take hours. And it did. But it seemed to take several hours more than the 2 and a half that elapsed on my watch. For all I know I'm still on the road, having fallen asleep, crashed and fallen into unconsciousness and all this is a dream....
When I arrived at school (or at least I think I did) I was struck again by a feeling of loneliness. I happened to walk in just as a million 1Ls were wandering around, and I didn't know anybody. This was not the triumphant on-top-of-the-world high school senior experience I was hoping for. Class. blah. I did the wrong reading for one class, and the rest of the classes we didn't get to the reading at all. In the mean time I had to post up a list of the new members of my law journal. The new members already knew they were new (hehe) but they wanted everyone else to know it--it didn't help that all four other journals already posted their membership lists last Thursday. So I kept getting in trouble for my laziness. (I actually just forgot). I tried to repent and post a list but the printer got all fouled up so it took my whole day to finally post the suckers. They look great though.
Weight loss wise, I kept track of my intake better than I have been and also took time to go to the gym near school. It felt really good. I brought clothes to change into to exercise and then change back and go back to class--and that included underwear. The net result was that I was wearing far fewer layers of clothes in public than I had since I got married. The net result of that was me feeling quite uncomfortable about showing so much skin, while simultaneously feeling so free when the breeze would touch that same exposed skin. I feel like I should clarify that I was wearing gym shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt--I didn't look skanky, but it was different to just have the old sports bra on underneath.
Anyway. The workout was good. I plan to do it again someday. Hopefully that day will be tomorrow, but unfortunately, I have to exercise at a different time every day due to my class and extra-curricular schedules. :(
All day I was thinking about my husband. Not just because I missed him, but for the first time I was truly appreciating the sacrifice he had made for me. You have to leave your house and the person and dog that you love (and the parrot that you pretty much hate--that's less hard) and drive forever and ever just to START a day of hard work that leaves you feeling totally exhausted. Then you go home to the house that isn't yours and watch with dismay as two black cats swirl around your feet--two black cats that you're allergic too and whose mere presence causes your bronchi to puff up angrily. (It is super weird that we both live(d) in houses with black cats--I didn't know until today that there were cats in this place. I'm trying to think well-ventilated thoughts.)
So I am homesick for the man who went through all this just to hear me complain about law school all the time. I'm homesick for the little brown dog that used to be my "weekday husband." I'm actually pretty pleased to be rid of the evil, biting parrot for a couple of days.
Having walked a mile in my husband's shoes, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to return them. But I'll be home soon, and after all, I have miles to go before I sleep...
Frankly, today was exhausting. I feel like I've been beaten.
I woke up at 6:50am while my husband slept in (another role reversal!) and got dressed, took the dog out, ate breakfast alone. Said goodbye to my husband--he huddled inside the house in his underwear so the neighbors couldn't see him. He clutched Greta to his chest to keep her from escaping. In the bluish light of early morning, he looked like a super politically incorrect parody of a refugee protectively snuggling a child to their bosom. Then I was off. I was so sad, lonely and apprehensive--worried about the tasks that lay ahead. The drive seemed to take hours. And it did. But it seemed to take several hours more than the 2 and a half that elapsed on my watch. For all I know I'm still on the road, having fallen asleep, crashed and fallen into unconsciousness and all this is a dream....
When I arrived at school (or at least I think I did) I was struck again by a feeling of loneliness. I happened to walk in just as a million 1Ls were wandering around, and I didn't know anybody. This was not the triumphant on-top-of-the-world high school senior experience I was hoping for. Class. blah. I did the wrong reading for one class, and the rest of the classes we didn't get to the reading at all. In the mean time I had to post up a list of the new members of my law journal. The new members already knew they were new (hehe) but they wanted everyone else to know it--it didn't help that all four other journals already posted their membership lists last Thursday. So I kept getting in trouble for my laziness. (I actually just forgot). I tried to repent and post a list but the printer got all fouled up so it took my whole day to finally post the suckers. They look great though.
Weight loss wise, I kept track of my intake better than I have been and also took time to go to the gym near school. It felt really good. I brought clothes to change into to exercise and then change back and go back to class--and that included underwear. The net result was that I was wearing far fewer layers of clothes in public than I had since I got married. The net result of that was me feeling quite uncomfortable about showing so much skin, while simultaneously feeling so free when the breeze would touch that same exposed skin. I feel like I should clarify that I was wearing gym shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt--I didn't look skanky, but it was different to just have the old sports bra on underneath.
Anyway. The workout was good. I plan to do it again someday. Hopefully that day will be tomorrow, but unfortunately, I have to exercise at a different time every day due to my class and extra-curricular schedules. :(
All day I was thinking about my husband. Not just because I missed him, but for the first time I was truly appreciating the sacrifice he had made for me. You have to leave your house and the person and dog that you love (and the parrot that you pretty much hate--that's less hard) and drive forever and ever just to START a day of hard work that leaves you feeling totally exhausted. Then you go home to the house that isn't yours and watch with dismay as two black cats swirl around your feet--two black cats that you're allergic too and whose mere presence causes your bronchi to puff up angrily. (It is super weird that we both live(d) in houses with black cats--I didn't know until today that there were cats in this place. I'm trying to think well-ventilated thoughts.)
So I am homesick for the man who went through all this just to hear me complain about law school all the time. I'm homesick for the little brown dog that used to be my "weekday husband." I'm actually pretty pleased to be rid of the evil, biting parrot for a couple of days.
Having walked a mile in my husband's shoes, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to return them. But I'll be home soon, and after all, I have miles to go before I sleep...
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