Character and Fitness

Today was my character and fitness interview for admission to the Ohio Bar. Every time I think about it I think about the Presidential Fitness Tests we had to take in elementary and middle school. The worst one, the absolute worst, was the chin-up test. Even in the best of times, I could never do a chin-up. In class with a whole slew of people from all levels of social standing watching you is far from the best of times. I don't remember watching anyone else do their chin-ups, but I felt as if all eyes were on me as I stepped up to the bar. My palms were sweaty, which certainly didn't help, but either way my chin-ups were a gross parody of athleticism. With a jump I could hold myself in place for a moment, but I could never lift myself from a standing position to a full chin-up--especially when we were required to pull ourselves up over-handed rather than underhanded. Well, anyway, my brief foray into gymnastics was not a success.
As class ended, the gym teacher signaled for me to come closer. "I could tell just by looking at you," she said, "that you couldn't do a chin-up. I used to be the same way."
To this day, it still kind of rankles that she said that. And by kind of, I mean it really, really rankles. I was chubby even when I was young. Telling me that you knew I wasn't going to be able to do something physical in no way helps me to be healthier, and frankly makes me want to eat a bunch of cookies to feel better. Part of the reason I'm talking about my struggle with weight now is so that people, even the really young ones, can realize that being unhappy with your body is not a good motivator for weight loss. Nervous, depressed, and stressed overeating is part of what keeps overweight people overweight. Your patterns are not going to permanently changed just because what you're feeling nervous, depressed and stressed about is your weight.
I have a goal to do a chin-up some day. I work toward it with regular free-weights and by practicing chin-ups on the snazzy doorway chin-up bar my husband gave me for Christmas. At this point, if I work with all of my might, and my husband gives me a little boost, I can actually do a chin up! Wait 'til I can do it on my own! And when I am able to do it on my own, it won't be because some gym teacher attempted to give me the "I used to be fat, like you!" talk, but because I like myself enough to treat my body with the respect it needs to be strong and healthy.